Bhramar

Chapter 2 — Shekhar is Besotted

Maya’s Heartbreak

Indrasekhar studies MA in Kolkata. Three days after Ranbir Singh's death, he departed for Kolkata. At college, his mother's letter informed him that Bina had left Kurseong and moved to Darjeeling. After that he got involved in his school work. When does he have the time to think about Bina or even of the affairs of his own family back home?

Here it is necessary to introduce Indrasekhar.

There is no doubt that he is attractive. But his appearance exudes the glow of an all-consuming, destructive fire. His eyes glower with the violence of a hunter, his face bespeaks of insatiable lust. Saraswati has blessed Indrasekhar infinitely. Music, painting, poetry—Shekhar has mastered it all. It is a rarity to find a Nepali student endowed with the talents of Shekhar.

But strange are the workings of nature.

Shekhar is an atheist. He doesn't think much of the conscience. He considers the regulations of society a sham. Morality for him is ostentation. Love a weakness of the heart.

To him the world is a vast playground. Here one can do what one desires. If there is anything worth desiring, seek it and devour it. To attain what one’s heart desires it is legitimate to war with ten others. Life is a battle. The strong and the manly win out. The weak are fated to lose in the struggle of life. And society? Shekhar says, “The society is a gigantic hypocrisy. In it the strong prey on the weak. Religion is how the shrewd dominate the weak of mind. The Brahmins are physically weak, they are cowards, but their brains are sharp—no one can second best them in shrewdness. And it is this brainpower that enables them to dominate the Kshatriyas and the Vaishyas as their gurus and occupy the highest rungs of the society. The laws of nature work like that. If your mental and physical abilities allow you to, you can desire anything. If not then there is nothing that can be done.”

This then is Shekhar’s code for living.

Shekhar and his father are not in agreement over anything. Their thought processes are different. The chasm between their points of view is as separate as the earth and the sky. They are like two disparate planets, rotating in their own private orbits. It is true that a kind of natural attraction touches the two of them. But this attraction is not willed. It is the inviolate law of nature, a theoretical principle.

Lalit Singh has struggled in life from childhood. After matriculation, his interest took him to business. He labored hard. Laxmi smiled on him and Lalit Singh became a prominent businessman in the town. But in spite of his riches and affluence he does not live in the lap of luxury.

Even today he works of the sweat of his brow, looks after his family and sleeps a sleep of deep contentment, to awaken every morning and immerse himself into the regular routine of his daily life. He is far removed from the shenanigans of the world. He considers it foolishness to bother oneself with the affairs of other people.

When Shekhar was four years old, he arranged for a tutor to teach him at home. One of his paternal duties was thus fulfilled. As he grew older, he got Shekhar admitted to his old school. Shekhar cleared the matriculation in flying colors. Another of Lalit Singh’s obligations came to pass. After that he got Shekhar enrolled in a reputed Kolkata college for his higher studies. What more could a father do for his son? Now what remained was moral teachings and religious training. But then, didn’t higher education make one aware of such things? Poor Lalit Singh, what could he do?

Also, the world reverberated with the praise of Shekhar. There was no one in school who could match the sharp brains of Shekhar—that was the common refrain made by teacher and student alike. There was the same kind of talk in college too. Three years ago, an English professor of Shekhar’s had come to Darjeeling for a health sojourn. He had extolled the virtues of Shekhar. Shekhar's knowledge of literature, Shekhar’s prowess with the English language, Shekhar’s ability to compose poetry—Shekhar's praise was constantly playing on his lips. Who is that father whose heart would not swell with pride? Who would not consider himself blessed?

In this way, nothing—whether it was the father's strength of character, or virtue or discipline or his mother's tenderness or filial love—could have any impact on Shekhar, who was raised away from home since early childhood. From infancy Shekhar walked alone in the world. Whatever good or evil thoughts that arose in him, they remained locked in the confines of his being.

Shekhar's mother has a heart as pure as the Ganga. There is no end to her reverence and devotion for the guru, the Brahmin and God. She has immersed herself in the care of her husband. As aforementioned, Shekhar had to leave his mother at an early age—most of his days were spent in the hostel. Had he been given the opportunity to be raised in the devout presence of his mother—would Shekhar's character and ideals in life have turned out any different?

Indrashekhar is a strange creature. He doesn't believe in society. But then living in that same society he touches the lives of countless others in myriad ways. He turns their thinking topsy-turvy. But he himself remains untouched, aloof. He doesn't pay attention to the viewpoint of others, doesn't care for their ideas. He doesn't get moved by someone else's love, the misfortune of others evokes no sympathy in him. He is in the society and yet is outside of it.

One day, the wanton breeze of spring has touched every life, awakening everything. Maya was lost in the sweet reverie of love. Her feminine heart reverberated with the sweet music of first love. Nightfall is some moments away.

The Himalayan peaks, the mountain flanks that are crimsoned by the setting sun, each flower of the garden—to Maya, everything is resplendent with the smiling face of Shekhar.

“Maya!”—taken aback, Maya looked at the door and her face reddened with shame and delight. Shekhar stood laughing at her predicament.

Gradually he came forward and taking Maya’s soft hands in his said, “Maya, don’t you know how to extend courtesy to guests? With what great expectations I have stood at your door in the guise of a mendicant?”

Maya cast a glance at Shekhar’s face. There was purity of love and simplicity of faith in her look. She smiled and said, “Your slave girl is at the service of the guest.”

Maya was as uncomplicated as Uma.

Maya’s love and reverence towards Shekhar was no less than the unconditional love and devotion that the mountain god’s daughter Uma had for the elderly Shiva. She considered this earth a paradise and people divine. And amongst men, Shekher was her most revered deity.

It was this simple faith that made Maya give her all to Shekhar without any doubt or hesitation. The most beautiful blossom of Nandan had offered itself at the feet of her most revered deity.

Then one day, during the festival of Dasai. The evening sun dipping westwards! A soft early evening melody! The arrival of the mother of bliss!

“Maya, what have you done? Marriage? Have you gone crazy? Marriage is for the wretched. Now look. Things aren’t so bad. We are what we were.”

“Let us live together.”

Maya cried, “But what will the society say? Will my parents ever consent to such brazenness? The world will laugh at us.”

Shekhar was infuriated. “Again the same talk—Society, parents, the world! After all these days you have failed to understand me Maya. You have not known me. Will this society and the world feed us? This kind of talk is all humbug. We love each other. We adore each other. As long as this love remains we will remain together. It’s not possible for us to part. Of what benefit is it to trap ourselves in this snare of matrimony?”

Maya spoke softly, “Shekhar let your words prevail. From today onwards we will journey in our separate paths. I have lost my faith in man and God, my devotion ended in futility. This is the fruitage of my love and affection...”

Maya’s life began to ebb and flounder.

That night a fever afflicted Maya. The fever persisted for over a week. In those eight days she became as thin as a rake. Later the fever subsided but she became weaker by the day. The doctor suggested a change of air.

After a month, Maya’s father departed with her daughter.

This happened four years ago. Today it can be said that all this has faded into the recesses of Shekhar’s mind.